Star Trek Lost Episodes
"Data, scan the history banks again and determine if their is something we have missed."
"Sir, I believe their is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'. Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.
"Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . ."
"Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0 !"
"Data, what does your scanners show?"
"Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."
"Lets wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their functionality."
. . . . Two Hours Pass . . . .
"Geordi whats the status on the Borg?"
"As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.
"How much time will that buy us ?"
"Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours."
"Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."
"Identify."
"It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo"
"THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS"
"The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."
"Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft"
"Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they survive the tortures of deep space ?!"
"I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits"
"Lawyers!!"
"It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."
"True, but appearently some must have survived."
"They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers."
"I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape' it often proves fatal."
"They're tearing the Borg to pieces !"
"Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that."
"Sir, I believe their is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'. Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.
"Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . ."
"Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0 !"
"Data, what does your scanners show?"
"Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."
"Lets wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their functionality."
. . . . Two Hours Pass . . . .
"Geordi whats the status on the Borg?"
"As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.
"How much time will that buy us ?"
"Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours."
"Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."
"Identify."
"It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo"
"THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS"
"The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."
"Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft"
"Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they survive the tortures of deep space ?!"
"I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits"
"Lawyers!!"
"It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."
"True, but appearently some must have survived."
"They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers."
"I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape' it often proves fatal."
"They're tearing the Borg to pieces !"
"Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that."
posted by Funny Emails at 12:23 AM
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